• A glossary of Bernarrisms.


    Religion invented by Macfadden that combined Christianity with diet and exercise tips.

    Eye crutches:

    Prescription eyeglasses. Completely superfluous for anyone who had read Macfadden’s ocular exercise guide, Strengthening the Eyes.


    Salubrious dietary practice initiated by Horace Fletcher, in which food was chewed so many times that the need for swallowing was eliminated—well-masticated nutriment would simply disappear down the back of one’s throat.


    Tiny, almost entirely harmless (and likely nonexistent) microscopic creatures that caused no harm to truly healthy persons.


    Largest and grandest of Macfadden’s fitness sanitariums, a massive Gothic edifice in Chicago where the sick were cured by natural methods and the healthy achieved ever greater levels of vitality through Physcultopathy (see below).

    Medical Monopoly:

    The cabal of professional physicians, most prominently represented by the American Medical Association, responsible for pumping this nation’s citizenry full of toxic “vaccinations” and performing unnecessary surgeries. Also known as “The Pus Trust.”


    Vacuum-based implement designed by Macfadden to engorge the vital organs of busy executives with fresh supplies of blood.


    Macfadden’s overall health philosophy, which he insisted built strength and cured all diseases via natural methods. Its primary tenets required followers to eat less and exercise more than they ever imagined possible, and to avoid medical doctors if at all possible.


    Backward societal tendency to hide the natural glories of sexual reproduction and nudity from women and children.

    Raw Milk:

    Unpasteurized dairy beverage, which Macfadden considered to be nature’s most perfect food. He often prescribed two gallons or more per day.

    Two-Meal Plan:

    Eating system under which a person eliminates one of his daily meals. Macfadden found that patients who followed this plan—basically a brunch and an early-bird dinner—consumed 26 percent less food each day.

    White Flour:

    Macfadden’s most despised foodstuff, often referred to as “the staff of death.”